Self-hatred; hatred of oneself is the feeling of self-loathing. It is a negative aspect that lives like an inner bully in oneself. Self-hatred is an underlying feeling that makes a person feel worthless, bad, ugly, and unable to one’s “real self.” Life grows with ups and downs. Self-love isn’t an undeniable truth; ‘it’s an emotion. ‘ To love and to be loved is a universal desire in all of us. When we don’t get enough love from our loved ones or get no praise for the given task, the feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness comes our way, and we become ‘victims’ of self-destruction due to self-hatred. We put our mental and emotional energy into our negative qualities and thoughts. We reinforce these qualities repeatedly and automatically choose the option of self-hatred. But! Should we choose self-loathing/ just because we are not beautiful, we do not get praise, just because we do not have a good job, or for being disabled? Should we? Living with self-loathing is depressing, debilitating, and segregating. We should never choose self-hatred. We should calm the negativity storm, quiet that inner critic, and move forward positively. Identify your worth and only choose self-love.
DISADVANTAGES OF BEING A SELF-HATRED CONSUMING PERSON
Self-hatred bitterly affects the peace and mental health of a person. It has the following disadvantages:
Depression/Trauma
People with extreme depression and self-hatred have been through trauma, physically or mentally. Lacking trust is the actual key source of trauma progression in self-loathing victims. They only face anxiety. The world becomes unsafe for them. They find no value and always face chaos. They only listen to their inner critic.
Demotivation
People who constantly face criticism always point out their flaws to themselves, feel awful, and become more and more vicious victims of self-hatred by hearing such things from others, especially when from a loved one :
- I knew you would fail.
- You are ugly.
- You are a loser.
- Can’t you just be normal?
FALSE EXPECTATIONS
Extraordinary expectations often lead to falling short and feeling as if one’s has failed. False expectations are unreasonable not just for self-loathing victims but also for everybody. This thing cages every person’s free will to progress and makes a person bound to this false acceptance.
HOPELESSNESS and BEING LONELY
Self-hatred allows a person to feel sad, distressed, lose interest in anything, have a depressed mood, and very low appetite. It may also cause loneliness, and the consequences are the thoughts of death and suicide, making the victim utterly lonely forever.
PERFECTIONISM
Perfectionism signifies ‘no safety buffer, no leeway for human missteps.’
It includes perceptions like:
- This dress doesn’t look perfect on my body.’
- I’m gaining too much weight.
- I’m short.
- I’m bald.
The feeling that led you down is that ridiculous judgment that you do to yourself over and over in pursuit of this impossible thing called perfectionism that nobody can ever have!
SELF LOVE
Self-love; is an utter solution to self-hatred. Self-care means we see good in ourselves. To put yourself always first when you need self-care the most! Self-love is the state of appreciation of one’s feelings. It is inextricably linked to Self-esteem. The ritual of one’s happiness. Confidence in self-love isn’t making do with short of what you merit. Beauties of self believing, self-care involves:
PRIORITIES OF ONE’s SELF
While prioritizing yourself, self-love should be the first. Trusting yourself in any condition, physical, emotional and mental well-being first. Hold on to your self-esteem. Trust yourself that you can do anything instead of saying I can’t do anything ‘ and saying, ‘ I’ll try my best to do this because you deserve yourself in every petty and major way!
SELF WORTH
” You are worthy of love.” Just tell yourself more and more of it every day. That is enough for your first but firm step towards your self-worth achievement.
POSITIVITY
Try to sit down at the end of the day and walk through your day completely. Standing up to your thoughts can feel daunting. Try to think positive. Feel small changes, little delight around you. Write motivating statements on a page and paste that on your mirror and daily recall them ;
- I’m positive
- I’m strong
- I’m learning
- I’m proud to have myself
REFRAMING
Train your brain to find your goals and little happiness. This would encourage self-confidence and diminish self-hatred. Do not hide your weakness; learn through them. Try to find your triggers so you can work with ways to avoid or minimize them. Just know that you are uniquely beautiful of your kind.
SELF COMPASSION
Assuming you are engaging in a serious episode of self-loathing, it tends to be useful to sit with that inclination and do attempt to distinguish from where it does come. Self-compassion may be difficult because this is the acceptance of one’s mistakes and learning to improve yourself in your personal growth. Mistakes, as well as regrets, don’t need to characterize you. If you combat self-compassion, you will find yourself spiraling down the self-hatred hole next time. Try to cut yourself some slack. Because” recovery requires trust.”
So, in the end, concluding that everybody has a section that they don’t recite without holding back. “HELPING SOMEONE WITH DEPRESSION” Try to surround yourself with people who know your worth and dignity. Those who would never let you down and always make you feel stronger. This would help you make your self-esteem high and help you cope with self-hatred at last.
